Jack is my teenage son; my middle child who was nicknamed the "Buddha Reincarnate" as a baby because he was such a lovely, placid and calm boy. He never cried, never demanded much in life and was a compassionate soul from day one.
And then he turned into a teenage boy.
While I can't blame Jack for every one of my grey hairs, I can attribute a number of hair dye packs to Jacks antics of the last few months. I won't dwell on this here, nor will I publicly shame him, but what I will say is that the last year of mothering "Jack" has been more trying and stressful than the first few hours of his life. And this is saying something considering he spent the first 8 days in NICU.
The last school holidays we decided to send Jack on an Outward Bound survivor course. When booking him in, I was told by the lovely lady this is not a course to "fix" wayward children - which was great because to me it meant that Jack wouldn't have the influences of children naughtier than him. He wasn't too keen on the idea of hanging out in a rainforest for two weeks without a phone or internet, but he also knew he wasn't in a position to bargain.
Just before he went into the rainforest to become a man, I called him to wish him well. He grunted, which I interpreted as a "thanks". Two weeks later, we collected him from the airport and he said words - more than one! He spoke in sentences that we could understand.
He joined the local PCYC and goes to the gym every morning. After school, he volunteers to collect his little brother, take him to the movies or do some reading with him. He does chores without being asked. He has a clean room - that's right, a teenage boy with a clean room! He does the laundry and knows how to separate whites to colours.
He does his homework!
He talks at the dinner table!!
(Parents - you can book your non-naughty teenage son into Outward Bound here: http://blog.outwardbound.org.au/)
Last night he asked if he could hang out with his mates, this was the first time since he came back from camp. I was anxious about letting him go because I knew the trouble they got up to before. At the same time, I had to reward his maturity and give him space to prove himself. I gave him some conditions and waited up for him.
This morning he volunteered the story about how his night went.
Walking home, he came across some teenage boys who were pretty drunk. One of them was lying unconscious in the gutter covered in vomit while the rest looked on.
So Jack called an ambulance and waited with the boy until the paramedics arrived. While waiting he took off his lovely Polo Ralph jumper and put it under the boys head so he wouldn't drown in his vomit, or hit his head on the gutter. He had saved up his pocket money for that jumper and it was really expensive.
A little while later, the paramedics attended to the boy and gave Jack back his vomit soaked jumper. He then walked home, popped his head in the door and said goodnight, then he went into the laundry to soak his shoes and jumper.
I am very proud of my son, and extremely thankful to the teams at Outward Bound and PCYC. Sometimes parents need help in raising their kids the right way and how wonderful that we haves organisation like these that can make a difference.
It's a cliche but it's true, it takes a community to raise a child.
Jack at Porpoise Bay, Rottnest Island 2011.
