I never want to sit in the front pew of a funeral ever again.
I never want to write a eulogy ever again.
I never want to stand in front of a crowded chapel and read heartfelt words through tears, struggling to breath as I say goodbye in an honourable and dignified and graceful way.
I never want to be that kind of "strong" ever again.
I never want to see the last rise of a chest. The last struggle for breath. The last undignified ugly process of death.
I never want to say goodbye to someone that I love. Ever. Again.
But I know that I will have to go through all of the above at some point in my future because I am surrounded by people I love and who love me back. I know that death is a part of living. I know this, but I don't like it.
It hurts like hell. Death is more painful for those left behind and my heart is aching for everyone who loved you.
I know that time will heal the pain and my heart will not be heavy when I think of you in the future. I know that over time I'll stop thinking "this time last Christmas, this time last birthday, this time last...". I know this will get better and it will stop aching.
And I know this because I was given the most beautiful parents a girl could ask for, who taught me how to be compassionate and caring and love people with all my heart.
It's time for healing now, for being thankful that you lived and loved.
Thank you mum. For everything.
I never want to write a eulogy ever again.
I never want to stand in front of a crowded chapel and read heartfelt words through tears, struggling to breath as I say goodbye in an honourable and dignified and graceful way.
I never want to be that kind of "strong" ever again.
I never want to see the last rise of a chest. The last struggle for breath. The last undignified ugly process of death.
I never want to say goodbye to someone that I love. Ever. Again.
But I know that I will have to go through all of the above at some point in my future because I am surrounded by people I love and who love me back. I know that death is a part of living. I know this, but I don't like it.
It hurts like hell. Death is more painful for those left behind and my heart is aching for everyone who loved you.
I know that time will heal the pain and my heart will not be heavy when I think of you in the future. I know that over time I'll stop thinking "this time last Christmas, this time last birthday, this time last...". I know this will get better and it will stop aching.
And I know this because I was given the most beautiful parents a girl could ask for, who taught me how to be compassionate and caring and love people with all my heart.
It's time for healing now, for being thankful that you lived and loved.
Thank you mum. For everything.
Maureen Fryar
26th Feb '49 - 5th Oct '15
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