Mothers Day nightmare - 2013

During COVID lockdown as I try to rekindle some old hobbies (such as writing), I came across this blog I forgot to publish many years ago. 

A Mothers Day to remember - 2013

About a month ago, I read the horrific news of a young teenage boy in my area who died as a result of an injury he sustained on the rugby field. As a mother of two boys playing Rugby League, my heart skipped a few beats, but then relief soon came over me as I realised that this will never happen to my child.  

Because my children are mine. Because my children play for clubs who care. Because, because because.... because I didn't want to think that this could ever happen to my child. 

Today I kissed and stroked the lovely head of my 17year old son as he slowly woke from surgery. A Mothers Day afternoon rugby accident and I wasn't there to see his game because I was with my other child at the time. They both have such a love of league and their games were on at the same time. A struggle as a mother, especially on Mothers Day. 

My son had the ball and was tackled. A young player from the other team decided to tackle him with his shoulder even after the ref had called "held". Jack was already down on the ground, but the other player threw his shoulder into Jacks back - because thats what big boys are allowed to do. He was taken to the emergency department by ambulance and the Xrays could not find a fracture so they discharged him and referred him for an ultrasound. Then it was a CT Scan, and then he was sent right back to emergency.

The CT found a seriously nasty injury; extremely uncommon and the result of an extreme trauma. Not a soft rugby tackle kind of trauma, but a deliberate and heavy trauma. A posterior dislocation of the sternoclavicular joint which is the joint where the clavicle meets the sternum. Such an injury poses high risks of puncturing a lung, or an artery - because all those fancy bits of our "life" engine are held behind those bones. We're so lucky. One centimetre to the left and this would have been his spine. One centimetre upwards, and this would have been his neck. 

The orthopaedic surgeon explained the procedures to us and then scheduled Jack in first thing in the morning. Wednesday morning, three days after the incident. I mention this only to highlight that despite Jack being taken by ambulance to the emergency department, and then having surgery nearly three days later, no one from his Rugby club had called us to find out how he was doing (or from a crisis management point of view, how exposed they were for their insurance claim!). 

So I contacted them. I didn't have the phone number (not on their website), so I emailed the manager of Jacks team who also happens to be the secretary of the club. He called me back with three seconds of me clicking the "Send" button. I explained that Jack had been in surgery all morning, and then went on to explain that he probably wont be playing for the rest of the season. I also told him that I wanted the team and the player of the illegal tackle to be educated in the seriousness of their action and how something in the moment can go so horribly wrong. I wont say he grunted at me, but he did interject quite loudly that there was no illegal tackle because the ref didn't call it. Therefore nothing wrong was done on the field on Sunday afternoon. He also reminded me there were two linesmen, and no video ref - but that as far as he was concerned, nothing wrong was done by anyone that day. And the incident report? Well, there wasn't one, because nothing wrong was done. I wondered if a post match incident report could be written - no......... I wondered how an ambulance could be called without an incident report? Grunt. I wondered if a session to educate players on the longer term personal impact after such tackles could be considered - no....So, I then told him that I would like the details of the insurance policy the club held because I intended to activate this to claim for ongoing sport physiotherapy, and any other therapy my son would require as a result. I'll have the policy details by Monday. 

Not once did this manager of the team ask how my son was doing. Not once did he express any empathy towards what my son was now going through. Because, he really didn't care. I was absolutely aghast at how little this manager cared about one of his players. My son, who I had believed was being looked after in a sport he absolutely loves. 

Tomorrow Jack will be having another CT scan with the potential of more surgery. I will again be the mother patting her sons head as he wakes from the anaesthetic - groggy, swollen and bruised. I will comfort him when he is so depressed that he wont be playing a sport he adores. And I will be forever grateful that my son lived with injuries that could be healed by skilled professionals, that he is not a child whose life was lost as a result of a game. 

I sincerely hope the National Rugby League can start an education process teaching kids about safe tackling.

Postscript
My beautiful 24yr old son is not playing Rugby, but is healthy and happy. The Junior NRL was helpful and thorough in their investigation and made efforts to educate the teams. The club manager made no further contact.