I'm torn. I am the mother of two boys who absolutely love the game of rugby league. I also happen to love watching the game, but I hate what the game has done to my family.
One son is 11 years old and he has been playing with the same group of boys since they were 5. It's been a pleasure watching them grow and develop into great little players. Their coach is an ex-A grade player (and an ex Wallaby), and is training the boys to play fairly and confidently.
My other son is a 17year old. The rules are different. The stakes are higher. And the boys are bigger with a hell of a lot more adrenaline and aggression.
On Mothers Day this year, my 17yr old was playing at the same time as my little guy, and as I could only be at one game at the one time, I went to the youngest son's game. A phone call revealed my older son had been injured and was at the hospital waiting to be seen in emergency. It's not a nice phone call to get.
After an Xray, an ultrasound and a CT Scan, we were told that my son had a posterior dislocation of the sterno-clavicular joint. Sounds fancy right? Well it is. It's that join between the sternum and the clavicle, and it was pushed in and pressing on his arteries. And his airway (he was having trouble breathing). It's quite rare to have this happen, in fact there have been less than 100 reported cases since 1824. Thankfully we were in the hands of amazing orthopaedic surgeons, cardiovascular surgeons, cardio thoracic, and beautiful caring nurses of Royal Prince Alfred.
One doctor told me our son was extremely lucky. The injury was such that it could only have been caused through excessive force (think of those adrenaline, testosterone 17 year old boys), and that had it have been one centimetre to the left, his spine would have been snapped. A centimetre higher, and his neck would have been snapped, and any more force, it could have severed his artery and I would no longer have my beautiful boy.
I waited three hours for him to come out of recovery from surgery, and then I called the club to let them know he wouldn't be playing for the rest of the season. If I had my way, he wouldn't be playing ever again. The club's manager really didn't care, or he hadn't been versed in customer service. He disputed that an incident took place because the referee and the linesmen didn't report it. Even when I asked about the incident report (because lets face it, a child leaves the field in an ambulance, surely an incident report must have been completed), he still denied there was an incident because.... the referee didn't record it.
So I went to the NSW NRL. And here's where it got really interesting. They did their job - calling me as soon as they read my email with expressions of concern. And then they gathered some reports from the referees and linesmen.
And they wrote me a letter.
They considered this an "accident" that can happen from time to time in a game like rugby.
The referee and linesmen reported nothing untoward during that game that they could recollect.
Both clubs had been approached for comments.
They also included in the letter the regulatory accreditations of the referees, linesmen, groundsmen, water boys etc. (But failed to confirm if the people on the field were actually accredited).
They were happy for me to provide some solutions on how to make the game safer.
Here's where I'm torn.
The way to make this game safer for my children is for them not to play. Ever. Because according to the team at NSW NRL who have the power to educate and make our kids safe are happy with - "accidents like this happen from time to time"
Because teenage boys are big and they are allowed to jump on a player holding a ball even after the referee has called "held"
Because referees are normal people who sometimes miss an "illegal tackle".
Because even after a referee has called held, and then supposedly does not see another big teenage boy jump on the back of a player already on the ground holding a ball yet gives the penalty kick, cannot remember an "incident".
Because even if a player is taken to hospital in an ambulance, has two surgeries, the club manager doesn't even have the courtesy to ask how a member of his club is.
Because I am very lucky and grateful that I still have my son.
My son is now lying in a hospital bed again after getting a post surgical infection. This is his final year of high school and this will be his third week off school due to this incident. Oops, I mean "accident which can happen from time to time". His HSC is not looking great.
He has lost his social surroundings, a sport that he loves and to me it seems he has lost motivation.
To say I am slightly angry at the sport, and the response we have been given is an understatement. And yet I am still torn about my younger son and when I should pull him out of the game.
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